Do you know how bloody hot it is?

OH MY FUCKNESS IT IS HOT.

I have been keeping my door open the whole day to let any kind of breeze come true. I didn't think it was helping that much until I just closed it and now I'm sweating like a mofo. Of course the thing about leaving my door open is that people come in and mess my things up >.
I have finally finished my essay and sent it off. I don't want to talk about it. I really have no idea how I went with it :( I woke up this morning and went straight to do it. The thing is I only had like..200 words to go but I just was out of words and kept writing stuff and then deleting it off. And I was such a stoner. I didn't realise the time passing and even forgot to have brekkie and lunch except for downing half a carton of chocolate milk.

After I submitted it I felt such a relief. Suddenly I felt hungry. I didn't even realise my phone was dead. I just wanted to lie on the floor. But then I remembered there was more studying to do :(

And so there's about a week or so left.

I am going to miss you :( I'm pretty sure it hasn't hit me yet just how much :(

Oh my shizz it is seriously getting hot. I'm going to get naked. Laters kids.

Labels: assignments

"If you're quite you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colourful and lively."

I found this quote on tumblr a couple of days ago and felt that it described me perfectly. Over the past few months I have been getting comments that I'm a pretty loud person, which is pretty true so I can't argue about that.

But I'd like to think that I'm loud in a good way? I don't do well in awkward silence. I've been known to randomly blurt out "SO...the weather is pretty good today eh?" and then Zoe and I share a private exchange of smiles because she knows that when I bring up the weather, that means I'm feeling awkward.

Now the boys always tease us about it. J always says, "Oh no, its those three again" when he sees me, Debster and Zoe come into the kitchen or something. Dale always says it ends up becoming like a marketplace when the girls come over to my room because he can hear everything. J says he can hear us from 5th. WHICH I AM PRETTY SURE IS AN EXAGGERATION. Anyways bottom line is, whenever they say it I know that its just to annoy the shit out of us and they mean it all in good fun and I've asked Dale many times if its bothered him and he always says he doesn't mind AND BESIDES he has a fair bit of loud noise coming from his room as well so I think we've come to a mutual give and take situation.

Anyways a couple of days ago I'm in the kitchen and one of my floormates, lets call her..."ZBRA" says to me and Zoe as we walk in (Debbie was already in) "Oh its the three again". Now the thing is she said it in a complete serious tone and serious face and I'm like WUH THE EFF. OH NO SHE DIDN'T. And it just felt like she was half joking but sort of hinting. WHATEVS I walked out.

It was just disappointing I guess. Because she's my floormate and she's equally loud with the rest of them and I'm like WUH THE EFF at least when the three of us are in the kitchen we actually engage with everyone thats in there and not just sit at the table sharing inside jokes with our boyfriend.

Like I said, WHATEVS .

Sleepytimes.

Labels: 1022

Today a friend of mine asked me "Who do you think is in the shittier position"?

I wasn't sure how to answer that. Okay fine, let's weigh this out. If the situation was between me and a kid in war-torn Afghanistan? The kid would "win".

But in this situation how could I measure out who exactly was going through so much shit?

Personally I think that everyone deals with things differently. I'm the type of person who probably takes a day or two to emo and then I put things at the back of my mind. Which could be a good thing or a bad thing. It doesn't mean I've dealt with it. kpop basically shuts down and disappears for a while. Another friend talks it out and basically can't be spoken to for several days. Others say everything is okay when inside they are hurting. The truth of the matter is, I don't think we actually know a person's real situation unless we are in it with them.

Its just, I guess questions like that make me feel as though feelings were some sort of competition. To see who was more happier, who was more hurt. How can we put ourselves in such a position to say that we are hurting more?

I think that's messed up.

I understand that some people love and hate more than others. Some people refuse to open themselves up for fear of the hurt. Fair enough. That is YOUR decision to make and I will not fight you on that. On the other hand some people love with all their heart and don't care about the hurt that they feel and how much of a fool they look. Fine, yet again that is YOUR decision to make.

Does that make sense? We all make different decisions on how to deal with things. I've come to understand that just because one person decides to close their heart while others love fearlessly and get hurt in it does not mean that they feel things on a different level. Admittedly I do get extremely annoyed & wonder why some are so guarded and it frustrates me because life is short. But then I realize that being hurt does that to you. I know a few people that haven't been hurt but refuse fall in love so that they won't have to go through it. I know some people who fall in love regardless of the hurt they are going to feel.

It all comes back down to the decisions we make. And at the end of the day WE make them. And I think that's why this can't be a competition.

Labels: friends, rant

WASSAP Y'ALL G-FO-SHIZZLE IN THE HOUSE.

First exam is over & done with. Can I get a HELL YEAH?! The thing is, I met up with Saf just before the exam since I haven't seen him since..his birthday?! Woah, like a month and a half ago! Anyways, while we're sitting & revising for our papers, it hits me that we've been in the same primary & high school together, and now even in the same uni! And then I found out that he's sitting in the same exam hall as me...which made it all come full circle. I can't believe that in a room full of at least 200 people, I have my good old friend there with me :) And he's going to be there for my final exam too! So tres excited for that. I'm really going to appreciate having him there, sort of a reminder of just everything that's come to pass!

I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO & SO LITTLE TIME.

Okay I really need to stop procrastinating and start on my assignment.

I LOVE YOU GUYS. WHOEVER YOU ARE.

Its really difficult plnning for someone's birthday when you live with them. Debsters birthday is in two days and I've been trying to make a card for her because they made me a card last year and we made Val a card this year so I think its her turn! Anyways the card was in my drawer and I forgot to close it and she came in the other day and saw it -.-! Sucks that she knows we're making her a card though!

I have come to realise that I have about a week left of uni. Like actually going to uni & have been spending most of my days in the library. I have come to like the Curry Club (the name for the group of Indians/Sri Lankans that hang out at this particular area in the library) and also realised I may not have any eye candy for a while (!!!!!!!!!). So I randomly picked this one dude whose pretty tall, & has this whole mysterious, suave thing going on but Hemma says that he looks like a monkey & wonders why he doesn't smile.

Anyways I used my stalker skillz & found him on facebook and actually in the spur of the moment was wrote on a piece of paper "Hey *insert name* I think you're really cute :) you should smile more :)" but then I was showing his pic on facebook (it was private so only saw the profile pic) and it was only a side shot of his face and then his friend & I was showing it to her & she then pointed out to me that since his friend's face was clearly seen maybe it was his.


..............................

She was right. PHEWWWWWW thank GOD i didn't write that note and do something crazy with it or else someone else would be getting the wrong idea!

AHHHHHHH I can't wait to move out of halls because there is this one dude here that is freaking me outz! FO SHIZZLE! I refuse to go down for any events because he just makes me feel awkward & tonight it happened again although I went down for different reasons but this dude just annoys me for no particular reason at all. Actually there is a reason: he is annoying. he is a douche. I keep looking to frenchie to save me but he justs laughs at my awkwardness. Thanks, friend.

Um, so yeah. I need to sleep so I can wake up early to go to the library & check out my man.

I don't feel that old.

Not even when I realised that I have almost completed my undergraduate degree.

Not even when I realised that I have a little over two weeks left for my birthday.

Nope.

I felt old when I wished my junior from SJS a happy birthday and she replied "thank you my former senior!"

>_<

Recap of my life for the week of October 11th

Monday - nothing
Tuesday - nothing
Wednesday - nothing
Thursday - nothing

Except the fact that I was so dazed on Tuesday that I kind of ignored my lecturer. You know the one for my 100% assignment unit and the one who basically owns my ass because of this? Yeah him. I didn't realise until he tried to catch my attention and eventually walked away and by the time I turned back it was too late :(

So I sent him an email and apologized and then he didn't reply so I thought he hated me but he has so crisis solved but I still need to write up a rough draft :s

Oh and I also went to the Nott for the last time on Thursday but it was slightly disappointing because it was empty but I don't really care anyways because I wasn't really a regular there. I did see my usual person though although I went "F*#& F*#& OH DEAR GOD WHY" but then you know me, it was like one of those hyperventilation acts but then it was alright after that :)

Friday was spent with an excruciating headache in the library after which I gave up trying to do anything and spent time on the computer looking out for volunteer organizations for next year. It was pretty busy day with trying to get last minute preps for Val's bday and trying to call up the two birthday girls and then finally getting ready for the "Diwali Eve" night.

Which was alright, but I was still slightly disappointed. It was weird seeing so many Malaysian Indians in one spot. The music was okay, it was nice hearing Tamil songs in an actual club but I guess I didn't know enough or the crowd wasn't good or just...something was just missing. I tried to make the most of it though & even talked to a couple of randoms. None worth remembering though.

Saturday was uber amazing. It was Val's 21st so she organized this "swimming with the dolphins" tour. It was reallyyy good. We drove down with Val & Zozo doing the navigating while me and Debster just sat at the bag being...ourselves really. We swam with seals first! The water was really really cold and it took a while for my body to adjust in the wetsuit and I had to adjust to the snorkels as well but it was worth it. I love being in the water. Going under and just literally just having the sound of the waves in your ear is fucking amazing and to just watch the lazy old seals playing with each other underwater was just...peaceful. We didn't actually manage to catch any dolphins, they weren't around :( The website said there was 94% chance of catching them but I guess we were the unlucky 6% :(



Look at them lazy bums. They remind me of me :)


I spent a great deal of today cleaning my room. It seriously was so time consuming. Of course I had alot of breaks. THATS NOT THE POINT. MY ROOM IS NOW ONCE AGAIN THRASHED THANKS TO A LOVELY FLOORMATE OF MINE.

Pffffft.

Labels: 1022, birthday

Gut feeling.

Have you ever gotten that gut feeling, knowing that something is about to happen before it hits?

It could be something really simple, like knowing that a song is going to come on the radio next. Have you ever gotten that? It used to happen to me all the time, although I guess you can say that.

Oh the biggest of all gut feelings occurred to me tonight. I used to believe in signs, heck I used to live by it. So what does this mean?

Why am I angry? Because my dear Fate, I think you are laughing in my face. You love playing this game with me. Its like I'm the starved lab rat and you're dangling a piece of cheese in my face.

Ha ha ha. Very funny.

Whatevs. I'm so over it.